Well, This is embarrassing. Another confession – my heart never tires of failing now, does it?
There was a time last year, particularly – towards the end – that I went idle. I had nothing to write about. At first – I didn’t realize the fact that I did get a little confident with myself and my growth. I justified myself, I thought I was just busy. I told people I had no time to write a-lot of articles, or that I had drafts – but I had other projects. Excuses.
Truth is that, I was just stuck.
I got too preoccupied.
I considered other things.
I lost focus.
I was contented with what I knew.
I thought I was okay, I was not.
I got stuck.
Yes, I was reading His word. But was I understanding, meditating, chewing it to the very last bit of nutrient it gives my soul?
I listened to what the enemy told my proud heart, “you know enough.”
Oh how confident I became of my own knowledge that I forgot to ask knowledge from the one who knew it all. How great I felt of the things I realized, forgetting the fact that I could never have realized them without God’s grace. I thought I can handle life – fool. I was complacent, and it killed me.
But God is ever gracious, He never lets our mistakes remain mistakes without correcting us. And so He did. He humbled me down by allowing great circumstances I cannot alter to enter into my “oh-so-perfect” life. He got me falling face-flat, asking for His wisdom once again. He took down the parachute I was gliding with, he put holes in it – so I’d no longer soar with confidence, but with fear and trembling. Unsure of where I’d find myself when I land. He got me asking for His comfort to secure me, seeking refuge in His wings. He got me seeking for Him, intently – entirely.
By then I knew how dead I was, because I was striving to find life in Him. The life He bought for me when He paid the price of dying on the cross. The life He gave me.
By then I knew how dangerous it was – to lean on one’s understanding for wisdom. Because a human’s understanding is but a pigment of what God can explain.
By then I knew how true His words were, because just hearing them being said wasn’t enough. God had to humble me down by experience, because He knew nothing else would cut. I was way too fond of where I got, contented in staying where I was. I forgot – in the first place, I never brought myself there. Grace did. His love did. His death did. It was all God, and none of me. And I was too much of a fool to forget that.
By then, I realized: God shows us His depths and heights by showing us how short we fall of Him and His glory, even when our minds and hearts perceive otherwise. Here to say and witness: complacency – isn’t only for the old, but for the new too. (much like me, icri). The dangers of complacency goes from small things, to big ones. He’ll correct you, but it will hurt.
I hope to pass on this little thing God had taught me:
Complacency kills you, because it hinders you from learning more.
It hinders you from discovering God’s complexity,
Testified by the cosmos and the galaxies.
It cuts you off from the opportunity of truly going deeper into His love and grace.
It brings familiarity of the gospel, diminishes how incomprehensible the mystery is.
It stops you from showing radiance that radiates from the light He brings upon your life because it covers you up in the darkness of your own thoughts.
What is Mini, Micro, Small – and Simple.
Compared to Magnified, Macro, Magnificent and Glorious.
Stay hungry, because there won’t be another way for you to be filled.