When “Dating” is No Longer Okay.

This won’t be one of those blog posts telling you about how wonderful it is to wait for the right person God has prepared for you, nor would I tell you to jump into relationships right away. As for me, my stand is to wait upon God’s timing, but this article isn’t about me. Its about the cheesy, oh so romantic word teenagers and young adults alike search for, some maybe for all the right reasons. Others, just for fun.

Dating.

What is it about dating that people find so amusing? Is it the thought of having someone “to have and to hold” ? Or are you just one of those hypocrites who think dating is a sport, that when you don’t have anyone special – as the world says it, you’re obsolete. You’re not “in”, you’re a kill joy or you’re bound to spend your remaining days of being alive alone.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not bitter. I’m actually on the “pro” side of dating, but I’m not here to tell you about the time when its cool to date, or something like that. Rather, I’m here to tell you one sentence people risk a lifetime’s worth of countless regret not telling:

IT’S OKAY TO DATE.

It’s okay to be so curious about someone other than your own self. It’s okay feel as if you’re single but you’re entirely not, just on reserve. It’s okay to be on the safe side that says “I’m willing to take a risk with this” but not really making yourself too available to be able to call it a relationship. It’s okay to become vulnerable with someone, to be able to introduce yourself as who you are without having the need to pretend, it’s okay to get real with someone. It’s okay to want special attention and it’s also okay to give yours. It’s okay to smile when you get random messages asking you how you’re going or how your day went. It’s entirely okay to get to know someone before entering the world of relationship. Because what is “dating” for? The way I see it, it’s a before-step towards having a more romantic relationship, its the time to start praying to have a commitment with someone before starting to pray for marriage.

BUT.

It won’t be okay when it starts wrong. It won’t be okay if its done out of impulsive carelessness of emotions. It won’t be okay when they become all you think about. It won’t be okay when you start feeling “love” without praying for your heart. It won’t be okay when you start judging their actions on your own. It’s no longer okay when they become so important that you hold on to them in everything. It’s no longer okay when they start to influence your thoughts just as much as God should influence yours. It won’t be okay when they become the “first one I run to when I can no longer contain it” – it’s wrong when the relationship you have with the person you’re dating with, takes the place of the relationship you should have with God.  Its wrong when God says ‘NO’ and you still keep on pushing for a yes, as if you can do arrangements with Him and His will.

It’s right, and okay when he pursues you with the right heart and pure intentions. Also right when it becomes an avenue to grow closer to God, because that’s how dating and relationships should work. It’s bound to get you nearer to God – not further apart. It’s right when you know you’re already complete, with or without them. But if you’re only entering the crazy-complicated world of relationships to fill in holes left bare, its wrong.

Because a mere human could never fill in pits only God can fill. 

It’s important that you know you’re no longer a puzzle, but a masterpiece.

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